These past few weeks have been a blur in the saddest kind of way. I've known for several weeks that I wanted to make a post on here for my own remembrance' sake, but have struggled doing so.
June 22nd, my Grandma had a stroke and subsequent fall which took her to the hospital for 3 1/2 days. There were many factors to consider, and she was not doing well. During that time, my sister kept me informed of her condition and let me know that she was advocating for Grandma to go home to spend her last hours in her own home.
I woke up Saturday morning early feeling an unexplainable urgency to go try to see Grandma, so I packed a quick bag, jumped in the car with Eliza, and left Dan and the girls here.
I drove straight to my grandparents house and arrived at 3PM, where my mom was just ready to leave after her 8-hour shift of caring for my Grandma and my oldest brother was going to take over caring for her for the next 8 hours.
Grandma was not able to talk at this point, and was sedated to keep her comfortable. I talked with her, and though she did not respond, I believe she could hear me. At 8PM, my Grandma passed away and went to heaven, where she is no longer in pain.
I am thankful that I woke up Saturday morning and decided to make the drive down to PA to see Grandma one last time. That week was all a blur and surreal because I had spoken on the phone with Grandma just a week and a half prior, and written her a letter just after Eliza was born. It sounds trite to say that I miss Grandma. I have lived up in NY state now for 4 years. For the 2 years before that, I lived in MD, and for the 5 years before that, I lived in California except for the summer and Christmas vacations. So for 11 years now, I've only seen Grandma when I come down to visit, and some of those trips were so short that I wasn't able to see her during them.
No mater how long it may have been since the last time I saw Grandma though, she would keep writing me letters, and we would call occasionally (not as often though). And when I was down to visit, I could be sure that she would plan an elaborate meal for us. That's how Grandma always was.
This photo is not flattering of me at all. But it makes me smile. I had flown home for Sarah and Billy's wedding, and the Monday after they got married, Martha, Daniel and I took Grandma and Grandpa out to eat at Shady Maple Smorgasbord. We all road together in the car, and Grandma, Martha and I squished in the backseat where I kept using my voice changer app to record people saying things and change their voice to sound like a chipmunk (I admit to being slightly obsessed with doing it because it was SO FUNNY!). Grandma had just listened to her voice recording as a chipmunk and was laughing and saying "Well that's dumb!" and I took this photo. 😁
I can regret the fact that I haven't been nearby to see my Grandma much in the last 11 years, or I can enjoy the fond memories that I will always have of the times I did spend with her.
This group photo was taken at Katie's house on New Years' 2016.
And this was on one of our visits right after Lucie was born in 2019.
Grandma made a huge picnic lunch for us: wayyyyyyy more food than we could possibly eat. Gwendolyn loved the windmill that Grandpa had just finished building.
I know my thoughts are coming out jumbled a bit, but one thing I've continued thinking of that sort of, hit a bit harder lately (I've always known it) is that every time we spend time with someone, we should live in that moment, remember that moment, and cherish it (cliché, but so true), because we never know when it will be our last memory like that.
I can't tell you how many times I've thought "Wish I could call Grandma and tell her...." in the last month.
My Grandma is sorely missed. I was blessed to have the best Grandma ever.
